Great Advent Books

Ladies,

The Christmas season is fast approaching and I wanted to share with you about a series of books that my family has enjoyed reading during the holiday season. They recently were advertised in the MomSense magazine from MOPS.

The books are designed to be read aloud to your children during the Advent season. The first book is called Jotham's Journey. Each day during Advent you read to your family a chapter about Jotham. As Jotham travels he has a lot of adventures and meets the characters who make up the next two books in the series, Bartholomew and Tabitha. Each book is meant to last the entire advent season, ending on Christmas Day when their adventures bring them to a stable in Bethlehem.

There is no need to buy all three books at once. The series begins with Jotham, next year your family would follow Bartholomew and the third year read about Tabitha during advent. Then you can start all over again with Jotham.

We were introduced to these books about 8 years ago and we still enjoy reading them each holiday season. It is a great way to remember what the season is really about. Each chapter only takes about 10-15 minutes to read, so they work well in the evening.

You can find the books at Christian Book Distributors or a local Christian book store.

Blessings to all,

Melissa

Be Spontaneous-Have an Adventure

Dear Ladies,

I recently purchased a new laptop.. It is actually a netbook, just the right size to fit in my purse. We bought the one with a larger battery, so I will be able to use the computer anywhere I wanted. The best part is, the computer is a vibrant purple color.

So many days I want to write to you and send a bit of encouragement or a quick thought, but my time and energy is in short supply most days. We recently laid a new ceramic tile floor in our kitchen. It is hard to get much done during the week, so most of our work has to be done on the weekends. Yesterday, we spent some time outside replanting three fruit trees and some moving some plants in our front flower garden. It was a perfect day to be outside, so we put our school work aside and went out. Some days a spontaneous change in plans is a welcome change from the normal.

Are you ever spontaneous? Do ever just change all your plans to do something different? Spring is a great time for some spontaneous adventures. I love to take adventures with my kids. I call them adventures, but that can mean whatever I decide is the event for the day. Sometimes that means packing a picnic and finding a local park with a playground. Other times we may just go to a nearby park and hike or follow a stream. If I’m really feeling adventurous we will take the metro into DC and go to a museum, however, I wasn’t comfortable making the trip until my children were older.

For those of you who live in the North Stafford area, I put together a list of few fun places you might enjoy taking your children. If you don’t live in Stafford, scout your area for parks and recreation areas; make the hunt for these places part of your adventure. Remember to take along a pail for all the treasures the children find.

Happy Adventures,

Melissa

Below is a list of 10 local places that are fun to explore with younger and older children.

1. Clair Brooks Park- The park has a Frisbee golf course that runs through the woods. It is a beautiful path to follow and at one point there is a little waterfall, with a small basin of water at the bottom. This is a fun spot for a picnic and playing in the water. In mid-summer the place is almost dry.

2. Smith Park- There is a nice playground and a path to the creek. We like to find places with water. There are always some fun creatures to find in the water.

3. Alum Springs Park in Fredericksburg-This is a wonderful little park set in the woods. There is a trail to the creek which leads to some rocky overhangs. During the Civil War the citizens of Fredericksburg hid under these rocky overhangs during the battle of Fredericksburg. Historical markers along the trail tell the history of the area.

4. Willowmear Park- This park is mostly sport fields, but there is a playground and a paved path. Children enjoy riding bikes and scooters along the path from one end of the park to the other. The park is located on Mountainview Road.

5. Prince William National Forest- There isn’t a playground that I know of at PWNF, but there are plenty of places to hike. There is a small entrance fee. Check the park’s website for more details and directions. http://www.nps.gov/prwi/index.htm

6. Aquia Landing-In the summer the park is open for swimming in the Potomac. The beach is sandy in places. There is a fee per person to swim. The following link has additional information about the park. http://www.waymarking.com/waymarks/WM6VNX_Aquia_Landing_Stafford_VA

7. Leesylvania State Park- this park is near Dumfries and is along the Potomac River. Swimming is not allowed in the river, but you can explore along the shore looking for pretty rocks and other items that have been washed up.For more information check out the park’s website: http://www.dcr.virginia.gov/state_parks/lee.shtml

8. Funland/Chuckie Cheese-For a few dollars you and your children can spend a rainy afternoon playing games. The folks at Chuckie Cheese don’t mind if you just play games and don’t purchase a pizza. The children usually end up with a handful of tickets they can redeem for a cheap prize, adding to the afternoon fun.

9. Carl’s Ice Cream –Carl’s has been in Fredericksburg forever. I was introduced to Carl’s years ago, by a native to the area (thanks, Shelley). The line is long on hot days, but the staff is very efficient and the line moves quickly. A regular ice cream cone is very reasonably priced. Carl’s is at 2200 Princess Anne St, are open Sunday-Thursday from 11am -11pm and on Friday-Saturday from 11am-11:30pm.

10. Lunga Lake-This small park is part of Quantico. We enjoy taking walks near the lake and gathering pinecones. The lake would also be a good place for little ones to try their hand at fishing. There is a picnic shelter and a small playground. To get to the park drive out Onville Rd. When you arrive at the guard house, let the guard know you are going to the lake; they can give you directions from there. If you have a vehicle decal for military installations you shouldn’t have any trouble getting through the gate. Otherwise you may have to show your driver’s license and let the guard inspect your car, but I’m not completely sure.

Resurrection Cookies

Dear Ladies,
If you've never done made Resurrection cookies with your children it is a fun Easter activity and a great way to teach them about Easter. The link below has the recipe and walks you through each step.
http://www.annieshomepage.com/resurrectioncookies.html

Another easy activity for Easter:
-Take refrigerated biscuits that come in a can- pop the can open and give each child a biscuit. Have each child wrap the biscuit dough around a large marshmallow- this takes a bit of stretching. Brush melted butter on the biscuits, roll in cinnamon and sugar and bake according to directions on biscuit can.
Explain to the children as they wrap the biscuit around the marshmallow that Jesus is represented by the marshmallow and the biscuit represents the tomb. After the biscuits are done baking, cool a few minutes and give each child one to enjoy. Break the biscuit in half and notice that the marshmallow is gone, our biscuit tomb is empty just like Jesus' tomb was empty on Easter morning. My children loved this activity and I liked it because it was simple and easy to do.

Enjoy,
Melissa

More Snowy Day Ideas

Dear Ladies,

One mom responded that she was making gingerbread houses from cardboard with her children. You could cut house pieces from cardboard or use graham crackers. The major part of success with gingerbread houses is having the right icing. The icing needs to work like cement. Below is an icing recipe that works well. Here is a quote from the mom who sent the idea, " So we have started a gingerbread house building project. The houses are out of cut up cardboard boxes glued together with a hot glue gun. The frosting is a recipe from online, and we have the extra candy, cereal, pretzels, etc to decorate. They are enjoying the project (and will take some time to complete in phases--just like a real house!)"

This could be a quick one day project or turn it into a big project and create a village.

Here are a few more ideas to try, now that we are on to winter storm number three.
-have a game day and haul out the cards and board games
-look at old photo albums together. Children love to hear stories about when you were young and stories about what they did when they were younger.
-gather together some items from your recycling and since they aren't picking it up we all have extra, together with colored paper, newspaper, glue, crayons etc, create robots.
-create bird feeders. If you have pine cones cover them with peanut butter and roll in bird seed, tie string to the top and hang from a tree branch. A bird feeder can also be made from old milk cartons.
-bundle up and take a walk-don't forget to have everyone use the potty first.
-call some friends and meet at a fast food restaurant with a play area for lunch or just coffee.

I know for some of you the days are getting long and you are ready for a change. When the day is getting you down, take a break. Tell your children, even the older ones need a rest time. Everyone needs a break and your children even need a break from each other. A half hour of reading or a quiet activity separated from everyone else may be just the time everyone needs to feel refreshed.

Blessings to all of you,
Melissa

Icing Recipe
2 Egg whites
1/8 teaspoon cream of tartar
2 teaspoons water
Beat together until frothy

Mix in 3 cups of powdered sugar.
Beat until stiff

Snow Day Fun

Ladies,

It looks like you will have the company of your school age children at home this week. After several days at home everyone may ended up going a little stir crazy and your children may begin to have a lot of pent up energy. Now is the time to start planning something to help you keep your sanity.

School children have every minute of their day planned out for them, when given too many days of unstructured times they don't know what to do with all their free time. Here are a few ideas too help fill some of those free hours. -try searching the internet for some simple crafts to do together,
- enjoy coloring together,
-pull out a pile of sheets and blankets to make a tent in the family room,
-bake cookies together
-if you have a fireplace build a fire, roast marshmallows and pretend you are camping
-make sandwiches for dinner, spread a blanket on the family room floor and have a picni
-begin reading a chapter book together, allow your children to color or build with Legos while you read(this use to be one of our favorite things to do together during the day)
-have a movie day or afternoon-wear your pj's and enjoy popcorn
-help your children prepare a play or program with dance and music for when Dad comes home
-plan and prepare a special meal together
-take a walk in the snow and then enjoy hot chocolate together when you get home

If you have some fun ideas that you enjoy doing with your children please email me. I will put them all together and send them to everyone.

Enjoy the special days ahead with your children home,
Melissa

Mothering Drudgery or Joy

Dear Ladies,

When my kids were little Monday was always a hard day for me. After a weekend of very little housekeeping there was plenty of catching up to do. Monday always meant cleaning and laundry. After a long holiday weekend with husbands and kids home I'm sure some of you had a busy day today catching up with your cleaning and laundry.

Parts of mothering can be just drudgery. The laundry is never ending, the floor is always needing a good mopping, you rarely get everything done, and many days you feel like you get nothing done. The other part of mothering is why we really enjoy being mothers. Its the baby gazing up at you as she nurses, the toddler fresh out of the bath in his new fuzzy pajamas, the delight on a child's face when you surprise them with a gift they have really been wanting, the sense of pride when your child walks across the stage to accept his diploma and the countless smiles, hugs and kisses that are bestowed on you just because you are the mom.

Don't let your days of mothering young children become just the days of drudgery. Aim each day to find the joy in mothering weather it is just a few minutes to read a child a story, scratched a child's back (I have a 16 year old that wants his back scratched at bedtime), color a coloring page together or listen to a teen relate his day to you. These everyday occurrences are what mothering is really about. These are the days when we have the chance to mold a life, to train our children in the love of the Lord through our actions and to love them unconditionally.

Happy Mothering Ladies. Thank you to all of you who responded to my last email, your responses are very encouraging.

Melissa

Toys, Toys and More Toys Part 2

Dear Ladies,
Now that you have had time to clear the toys from your bedroom room, let’s get started dealing with all the toys that are everywhere else.

One of the best ways to deal with toys is to limit them. So to start you will need a box of trash bags. Before you can organize anything you will need to weed out what you want to keep, what needs to be trashed and which toys can be given away. Anytime you are sorting through toys to get rid of it is best to not have your children around, let them watch a video, nap in your room so you can be in their room or plan a play date. Since this job may take a while you may find it best to accomplish it in short time spans.

Let's get started sorting.
- First we are going to trash any toys that are broken, unsafe, or too worn out to pass on.

-Our second trash bag will be for toys that are still in good condition, but are not played with. Your church nursery maybe interested in them, you can donate them to Goodwill or The Salvation Army for a tax deduction, ask a friend if they are interested in any of the toys for their children or list them on Ebay or Free Cycle. (http://www.freecycle.com/ is a great way to give items away to other local people. Go to the website and select a group in your area, sign up and then all you do is write a short note of what you have you would like to give away. People will email you if they are interested and then pick it up from you. I love free cycle. I will list something and often have multiple people who would like it. I email one of them with my address and leave the item on the front porch. The next thing I know the item is gone. Often the person will email and tell me how glad they are to have the item.)

How do you determine which toys stay and which toys go? Ask yourself when was the last time your child used the toy, if they have not used it in the last six months to a year it is time for the toy to leave your home. Most children have a few toys that they use all the time and even some that they use every day. Toys like blocks, Playmobiles, Legos, dolls, kitchen items, and dress up clothes give children hours of enjoyment, so these are keepers, unless your child shows no interest in them. Our house has tons of Legos; the boys spent countless hours building, rebuilding and imagining with their Legos.
They were well worth the space they occupied. Decide what toys are worth the space in your home.

-Now be sure to make sure the toys in your trash bags leave your house.

You probably still have plenty of toys left in your house. We will talk about some organizing ideas in the next letter, but for now happy sorting. Remember it doesn't have to be done all at once. If you only have 30 minutes to sort through half of the closet that's ok, the job will get done.

Happy Sorting,

Melissa

Toys, Toys and More Toys

Dear Ladies,

I love hearing from you and hearing what ideas you would like to read about. Recently a reader asked me for ideas on organizing children’s toys, dealing with the abundance of art work our children make and how to effectively store hand-me-downs. I haven’t personally conquered all of the STUFF in my house. It is a constant battle. Since our home isn’t very big and we don’t have the option of throwing everything in the basement, we have had to learn how to deal with all the stuff that six people need, collect and want.

There is a lot in the above topics to talk about and since I like to keep these letters short, I’m going to break this up into several different letters. First we will start with the toys.

TOYS: They are everywhere and seem to multiple like bunnies. If toys aren’t kept under control they will quickly take over your whole house.

First I would suggest you make your bedroom off limit to toys. I have always felt that the children had the whole house to play in they did not need to play or leave their toys in my room. If you are married your room should be a calm, restful place for you and your husband to enjoy time together, if you are a single mom you need one place that is just for you. You are not being selfish by keeping one room as your personal haven and for many that would mean a room with no toys. So take a box, go to your bedroom and put all the toys in the box. Put the box in a child’s room, we will deal with it later. For now you have one place where you can go that is toy free, be sure to let your kids know that your room is now a “toy free zone” and remember to enforce this new rule.

More to come on the subject of toys in the near future.

Melissa

Treasure Boxes

Ladies,

We found a great deal this week on treasure boxes. We all know how much children love to keep things and they always need somewhere to keep their treasures.

The cigar store next to the Blockbusters in North Stafford will sometimes have empty cigar boxes sitting outside the door for people to take, but they also sell some of the boxes. The boxes they sell are very nice for treasure boxes. We had a great time sorting through the piles of boxes looking for our favorites. Many boxes are made of beautiful stained word, with hinges and latches on the front. They come in a variety of sizes; they have a few that are a little larger then a shoe box, but many are half that size. Currently there is a sign on the door saying cigar boxes are 1/2, the larger boxes are about $2-2.50 and all the smaller ones(just inside the front door are $1).

I thought the boxes would be great to put Christmas gifts in either as is or spray painted. I'm sure many of your children would enjoy picking out a treasure box to fill and once it is filled I would encourage them to sort through and get rid of some of them to make room for new treasures. This can work as a great way to store treasures, but also to limit them because once the box is full they have to discard somethings.

And if you want to get crafty I'm sure there are many ways you could decorate these boxes, but many are already very nice.

I also have a large box of tea sets. My daughter had multiple sets and we sorted through and just kept her favorites. Is anyone interested in a tea set to have tea parties with their kids? If more then one person wants them I will divide the sets up?

Have a wonderful weekend everyone.

Melissa

Letting Go!!

Dear Ladies,

My two oldest boys, Jacob and Ethan, took a road trip. They packed up our little white car with over 200,000 miles and drove to Illinois to visit grandparents. The oldest being 18 has a need for adventure, and it worked out for him to be able to have one. Ethan is one step closer to independence.

Before we were married we spent some time with our pastor discussing marriage, family etc. Our pastor told us that it was the husbands job to help his wife let go of the children. What truth there was in that statement.

When our children were little their grandparents wanted to have them visit for several weeks in the summers. I always wanted to say "no", I want them here with me. Eric felt it would be good for the children to spend some time with their grandparents, so off to Grammy's they would go. Of course, Eric was right. It was good for everyone. The grandparents got to spoil the grand kids and a bond was developed between the children and their grandparents. My in-laws are Godly people, so my children were also able to learn from their Godly example.

All the good reasons didn't make it any easier for me to let go. Through out the adventure of mothering there are different times when we need to release our children. As babies we let them go when we move them out of our bedroom and into their own room. (I cried the first night I put my oldest in his room), as toddlers we let go when they are screaming at the church nursery door for mama, but we know they will be fine. As young elementary we let go when we put them on the school bus for the first time, or let them sleep over night at a friend's house, then as teens we let them go when we allow them to be out with friends. Before long we have an adult in our house who is studying and preparing to care for a family of his own.

Parenting is one long season of letting go. As moms it is hard for us to let them grow up, we are torn; we want them to grow up, but we still want them to be our babies. So if the opportunity arises this summer for your child to step out into something new, be ready. It will be hard. Pray about it and discuss it with your husband. How will it benefit your child and his knowledge of God? Will your child be safe? Are you just holding on or would this be a good chance for your child to grow and have fun? Will this opportunity cause emotional or physical harm? Is your child ready?

I have not yet gotten to the point where a child has totally left home, but I believe that having my children spend weeks at their grandparents has given me a little glimpse of what our home will be like with children gone. I know it will be difficult, but I'm looking forward to seeing what direction God takes my children in.

I would love to hear from you ladies, your emails encourage me to write. Please email me any questions or topics that you would like me to write about.

In His Service,
Melissa

Death Comes To Us All

Dear Ladies,



We have been doing more then our fair share dinner with a movie. When Eric is gone we tend to be more relaxed about dinner. Sometimes I will decide we better start acting normal and eat dinner at the table. BUT we are all enjoying our dinner/movie nights, do we really need to be normal. We have watched most of the PG movies from the Redbox that we wanted to see; that may cause us to have to stop our movie watching or find a different rental source.



My father is 88 years old and isn't doing very well. We are hoping he will hang in there until after May 6th when Eric is due home. I really don't want to deal with the funeral without him to tempter family feelings. My Dad has been married three times and has children from his first two marriages.



My dad was born in 1921, only attender school through the 8th grade when he had to start working to help support the family. He was one of 12 children. He has outlived all but the youngest sister. He was drafted to serve in World War II, was wounded twice and was part of the occupation force in Japan. He saw airplane and automobile travel become the norm. He saw the invention of the tv, phone, computers, washing machines, radios, microwaves, and bubble gum. I was blessed to have a wonderful visit, the best one in a long time, in November. We attended church with him, his wife, my sister and her boys. Afterwards we went out to lunch, then to their new home for a visit. I'm thankful for that visit. I have chosen not to go to NY now, but have talked to him a few minutes on the phone.

Death is a part of life and sometimes is very hard for us to understand. Children handle death so much better then we do. I think sometimes they wonder why we are crying. Isn't going home to be with Jesus what we all want to do? So how do we has moms handle explaining the death of a loved one to our little ones?

1. Explain to your child that they have gone to see Jesus. For some children this is all they will need.

2. Comfort them and allow them to cry, but don't be upset if they don't show any sorrow.

3. If they are beyond the toddler years take them to the visitation or the funeral. Explain to them before hand that they will be viewing the person's body or shell, but their spirit or the part we loved is with Jesus.

4. If you aren't sure the person was saved it is a little bit more difficult. Let your child know their spirit is gone and leave it at that.

5. Talk about the things you loved or did with the person. Enjoy sharing funny stories with them and ask them to share something they remember.

6. Talk about death before it happens. Talk about how grandparents wouldn't always be with us, so we have to enjoy them while we can. Let them know it is a part of life. If you have a pet who dies, even a goldfish, use this as an opportunity to talk about death.

7. Pray and ask for guidance.

We lost two young cousins in a car accident 5 years ago. That was a difficult death for my children and there was no explanation as to why it happened. We knew that both children had made Jesus their savior, so we could rejoice in knowing that they were with Jesus. Sometimes all you can do is cry together and say we don't understand why such an accident could happen. It is ok to be honest with your children, they will have a better understanding of death when we address their questions honestly.

Have a wonderful weekend with your family and rejoice in each new day God gives us to enjoy each other.

Melissa

Just Say No!!!

Dear Ladies,

The kids and I have a busy week ahead of us. Caleb (son #3) is getting braces put on the upper teeth, we are all taking a field trip to the FBI Academy, and Johanna, Caleb and I are taking a field trip to a Equine Rescue Farm. Johanna is working on a horses' unit study this year, so when I saw this field trip offered, I signed up for it. We don't do many group field trips, so this is an unusual week for us. We also have Bible study, robotics and a college class for the oldest, our regular school work and chores, a MOPS meeting for me, drama class for Johanna and guitar lessons for the two oldest boys. I'm sure some of you probably have a schedule that is even fuller, while some of you may enjoy a quieter week.

I'm also sure that most of you have experienced feelings of being overwhelmed at some point. When your long list of things to do, just gets longer. There have been times that I have felt on the verge of tears, because I had so much to accomplish.

We adopted our daughter at the age of 2. Our boys were four, six and eight at the time, I was homeschooling, we had moved into a house that needed lots of work, I was the director of our children's church program and taught Sunday school. I was overwhelmed. Added to all this the transition for our daughter was difficult, she only wanted me or my oldest son, she cried a lot and was angry plus the church wanted the children to perform a Christmas musical and I was the director. I was REALLY overwhelmed. During all this I went to a homeschool support group meeting. I shared with some of the ladies all I was doing. One member of the group was an older mom and she offered me some simple advise. She said "Melissa, you need to learn how to say NO."

Is learning to say "NO" something you need to do? There are many wonderful actitives to fill our time and we have to choose carefully. Opportunities abound for our children, everything from soccer to cooking lessons. These are all great activities and there is a time when it is good to let your children take part. We can, at times, feel pressured to have all of our kids doing some activity all of the time. Before signing your kids up for a class or sport consider how many hours per week will you need to invest, how will the added stress effect your family and how will the time involved effect the children not participating in the activity. If it is a personal project or activity be sure to ask your husband's opinion, talk to a close friend and consider your current schedule(can it handle another event). Be sure to spend some time asking God to direct your steps.

Lastly say No and don't feel guilty. In the weeks ahead you probably will be glad you didn't take on yet another activity or project. Only by saying no to some activities will you have the opportunity to spend quality time as a family, have the time for your children to just be kids and play, and maybe even have the time to read a good book.

Have a wonderful week.

Melissa

PS. I'm looking for e-letter topics, do you have any ideas?

Mothering Through the Sand Dunes of Life

"…and they will do well from the treasures hidden in the sand on the shore."
Deuteronomy 33:19



Out in the middle of no where, among the Rocky Mountains are acres of sand. Great Sand Dunes National Park is a fascinating place to visit; it is like being at the ocean except the ocean is missing. Leading up to beautiful soft yellow mountains of sand is a vast, expanse of smooth, flat, sandy ground. Some of the flat ground leading up to the dunes is easy to walk through as the sand is compressed; other places the sand is soft making walking more difficult. The National Park Service is unable to create a map of trails, because the sand dunes are constantly shifting.
During our visit to the park, the thought occurred to me that the adventure of motherhood is like exploring sand dunes. Some days mothering is easy, like walking on firm sand. Other days are tough, no major obstacles, just harder and physically exhausting, like walking through soft sand. While other days are like climbing a mountain of sand. Difficult!
We've all had difficult days. You wake up two hours late; the baby slept through her 6am feeding. Even though you enjoyed the extra sleep, you've missed that small window of time you had to take a shower. The day doesn't get better. The toddler and the baby both wake up cranky, with stuffy noses and sore throats. After an hour wait the doctor tells you they have a virus and it will just will need to run its course. Back at home you remember there isn't anything for lunch, because today was supposed to be grocery shopping day. After feeding the kids cereal you begin the process of getting everyone down for a nap. With nap time under way, you quickly clean up the breakfast dishes, begin a load of laundry, take out the trash and pick up the Duplos the toddler scattered all over the living room and kitchen. Feeling exhausted you decide to lay down for a 10 minute power nap; as you head touches the pillow, crying is heard from the bedroom. You feel like you have been climbing a mountain of sand,never gaining more them a few steps forward before sliding back to where you started, and your day is only half over.
In Deuteronomy 33:19 Moses pronounces a blessing over the tribe of Zebulun. He declares that they will feast on "treasures hidden in the sand." Our children are treasures, but on very difficult days we need to remember to bend down and dig. Digging in the sand isn't hard and often we don't have to dig deep before we find an unexpected treasure or uncover a blessing. Maybe you had a few extra minutes of cuddling time with your preschooler, maybe your toddler said something that brought a smile to your face, or maybe
Visitors to Great Sand Dunes National Park are encouraged to enjoy, explore, and learn during their visit. We need to do the same as mothers; we need to enjoy the mundane days for their quietness, learn from the difficult days, and explore on the sunny days. We need to discover anew the treasures of our children. Motherhood is a fascinating journey, one in which we can grow and change like the shifting sand of the national park




Copyright 2008 Melissa Steckmann.

Have Some Fun

Dear Ladies,

My kids enjoyed some time in the snow the last couple of days. Last year they were disappointed that we didn't have enough snow to try out some snowboards they had gotten at a yard sale. They finally got their chance to use them.

Since we are homeschooling we don't necessarily have snow days. Since a good snow fall is a rare occurrence and the opportunities to sled are few we do take time to fit in some outdoor fun. We adjust our schedule, let some of the work wait until the next day and seize the moment.

With all the jobs we have to do has wives and mothers we can sometimes neglect the chances to have fun. I know you all have heard it before that the house work can wait, but the children wouldn't always be there. We all know the truth to that statement and we all believe it, but we still get caught up in the need to get the work all done. Plus there is no way to get around it, I have yet to have any little elves do my housework while I was sleeping.

So what do we do??

We have to find a balance between work and fun. Schedule into your days time with your children, time where you do something together. It can be as simple as playing a game of memory, reading a book or baking cookies. Try to include your children in some of the every day activities you have to do. Your young children will think it is fun to be mommy's helper. Or give your children an activity to do at the kitchen table while you make dinner, this will give you the opportunity to talk to them. There are many ways in which we can enjoy time with our children, be on the look out for ways to include your children in what you do and ways to have a little fun with them.

Have fun today and enjoy your children.

Blessings,
Melissa
www.amomlikeyou.blogspot.com
Check the blog page for past letters and easy recipes.

Can Adults Have Temper Tantrums??

One of the hobbies that Eric and the children enjoy is raising and racing homing pigeons. They are members of a pigeon racing club that holds monthly meetings. Eric and the children attended the first meeting of the New Year on Saturday. The club has some interesting dynamics and Saturday night was no exception. One gentleman didn’t approve of the way something was being handled, so he stormed out of the meeting. Our youngest son told Eric it was the first time he had seen an adult have a temper tantrum.

I think it would be safe to say that this gentleman probably had temper tantrums as a child. It is also probably safe to say, that his parents neglected to teach him self-control and how to express his emotions correctly. Discipline is the hardest part of parenting. It takes consistency. No matter what form of discipline you choose to use, it has to be done with consistency. A negative consequence for a negative behavior. All behaviors don’t warrant the same consequent and some behaviors need a consequent that will make its point quickly. For example, running into the road is a behavior we can’t let happen again, therefore, the punishment needs to be something the child will remember the next time he is tempted to run into the road.

The point of giving out a punishment for inappropriate behavior is to cause the child to remember the consequent the next time they are tempted. It might be helpful for you to create a list of punishments options, so when your child is disobedient you can look at the list and decide what punishment will be the most effective. Some examples are: loss of computer time, no candy, loss of favorite doll, time out, standing in the corner or early to bed. We use to banish our children; using the word banish made the punishment sound worse then it was. The banished child had to stay in their room (they were banished from the family) and they only got bread and water for dinner (I never wanted to send my children to bed hungry). We didn’t banish kids a lot, but saved it for more serious disobedience. Some people use spanking to discipline their children. Sometimes a spanking, when admistered in love, is the best method of displine. (I will cover spanking in a future letter)

The bottom line is simple. To have well behaved children a parent needs to be watchful, needs to discipline with consistency, needs to communicate clearly to the child why he is being punished and needs to reward good behavior. With consistent discipline, love and prayers our children will grow into the men/women God has designed them to be instead of angry adults who want everything their way.

Thank you for taking the time to read these letters. I’m amazed at how God has taken some simple notes sent to about six ladies and grown it into a group of 30+. Please continue to pass the letters on to other moms you think will enjoy them. As always, I welcome any comments or questions you may have.

Serving Him Alone,
Melissa
www.amomlikeyou.blogspot.com

Happiness Isn't Candy for Dinner Every Night

Shop, shop and shop some more.

I don't know about you but it takes me forever to get all the Christmas shopping done. I think I'm just a very slow shopper. Even with a list, I'm still a slow shopper. When I think I'm making some head way, I get everything out, divided it into piles for each child and realize there isn't much in the piles. This year I have not come up with one really neat present that I'm extra excited about giving or that I know the children will be extra excited about receiving. However, I'm sure they will enjoy their gifts and my husband I enjoy the chance Christmas gives us to spoil them a bit.

Today I read the following quote by Washington Irving: "It was the policy of the good old gentleman to make his children feel that home was the happiest place in the world; and I value this delicious home-feeling as one of the choicest gifts a parent can bestow."

A happy home that is one of the most important gifts we can give to our children. It is however much easy to go to Walmart and buy a new bike or a Wii system. Obviously there would be some very happy children at my house if they opened up a brand new video game system, but the happiest would be short lived.

Creating your home to be the happiest place in the world is a never ending job. It is something I need to work on all year long. So how can we give the gift of a happy home to our children.
1. Love your husband and let the children know you love their dad.
2. Love your God and share your love of God with the kids
3. Discipline your children. Children that understand right from wrong and understand the standards their parents have set up are happier. Children feel safer and more loved with boundaries for their behavior.
4. Have fun together. Have ice cream for dinner or camp out in the living room or bake cookies together.
5. Teach your children that your home is a safe place. Mean/ teasing behavior is not allowed. Children need to feel they can be themselves in their home without someone pulling them down.

This is just the tip of the ice burg and I by no means have mastered what it takes to make a happy home. Probably the most important thing we can do is PRAY. Pray for today and work on making your home a happy place today, when tomorrow comes pray and work on that day. One day at a time.

This is the best gift you can give each other, so get everyone involved. Ask them how your home can be happier-be prepared for the "ice cream everyday" or "candy only for dinner" answers. In the end we want our children to have fond memories and look forward to coming home for a visit.

Melissa

Mothering Through the Sand Dunes of Life

Out in the middle of no where, among the Rocky Mountains are acres of sand. Great Sand Dunes National Park is a fascinating place to visit; it is like being at the ocean except the ocean is missing. Leading up to beautiful soft yellow mountains of sand is a vast, expanse of smooth, sandy ground. Some of the flat ground leading up to the dunes is easy to walk through as the sand is compressed; other places the sand is soft making walking more difficult. The national park service is unable to create a map of trails, because the sand dunes are constantly shifting and if you sit for a spell you can see whiffs of sand blowing passed.

During a visit to the park, the thought occurred to me that the adventure of motherhood is like exploring sand dunes. Some days mothering is easy, like walking on sand that is firm. Other days are tough, no major obstacles, just harder and physically exhausting, like walking through soft sand. But other days are like climbing a mountain of sand. Difficult!

We’ve all had difficult days. You wake up two hours late; the baby slept through her
6am feeding. Even though you enjoyed the extra sleep, you’ve missed the small window of time you had to take a shower. The day doesn’t get better. The toddler and the baby both woke up cranky, with a stuffy nose and sore throat. After an hour’s wait the doctor tells you they have a virus and it just will need to run its course. Back at home you remember there isn’t anything for lunch, because today was supposed to be grocery shopping day. After feeding the kids cereal you begin the process of getting everyone down for a nap. With naptime underway you quick clean up the breakfast dishes, begin a load of laundry, take out the trash and pick up the Duplos the toddler scattered all over the living room and kitchen. Feeling exhausted you decide to lay down for a 10 minute powernap, as you head touches the pillow, crying is heard from the bedroom down the hall. You feel like you have been climbing a mountain of sand and your day is only half over.

Visitors to Great Sand Dunes National Park are encouraged to enjoy, explore, learn and recreate during their visit. We need to do the same as mothers; we need to enjoy the mundane days for their quietness, learn from the difficult days, explore with our children the beauty of each day and recreate together making the most of each day. Just as the sand dunes are a fascinating place to explore, mothering is a fascinating journey.









The above article is copyrighted by Melissa Steckmann.

Help! My Kids aren't Behaving!!

Dear Ladies,

Yesterday we went apple picking. It is late in the season, but we were still able to get plenty of apples. We enjoyed being outside and over near the mountains it was beautiful. The weather was perfect; I don't like to sweat when I pick apples, part of the experience is having a cool autumn day to enjoy.

Today we are off to a homeschool group harvest party. It is at a bowling alley, so we will get our physical education class in for the week, plus bring home CANDY. My youngest boy has a passion for candy, so he will be happy. Today we will also welcome home Eric who has been gone since Tuesday.

What do you do when your kids have behavior issues that you're not sure how to deal with? Mine have an issue-they can be so unkind to each other and they just bother one another. I'm thinking of a unique way to handle it. Since they enjoy making money and they could all use it for buying Christmas gifts I'm going to use money as the incentive. My thought is to offer them $1 a day if they show kindness and respect for their siblings. I know this could add up to $28 a week, but in the end it should be worth the money. My hope is that after a month or maybe two the old behavior will be replaced with the new behavior. They're siblings, so we will always have some unkindness but I'm hoping this will help cut down on the negetive behavior.

Sometimes when I'm faced with a behavior issue and I don't know how to re-direct my children I will ask the Lord for ideas. My children groan when I tell them the Lord told me what to do. There is no problem in motherhood that God isn't interested in helping you solve. When faced with any issue regarding your children take it to the Lord. If you can pray with your husband, that is even better. Ask God to give you wisdom in re-directing wrong behavior. God longs for us to bring everything to Him in prayer, He wants to help us. Sometimes we get so caught up in our problems that we forget that the One that created us and our children is waiting for us to seek Him. Seek Him today and ask for the wisdom to be best parent you can be.

Blessings to all of you-Have a wonderful weekend with your families.

Melissa

They Will Grow Up!!!

Dear Ladies,

Dressed in a black tux with a broad smile on his face my baby boy(now 17) drove away in a bright red Camaro to escort a young lady to dinner and the homecoming dance. I had to blink back tears several times as I helped him get ready for his big night. Where have the years gone? Just a short time ago he was catching bugs, playing in the mud and looking for adventure in the trees behind our house. It has been just as exciting to watch him take on all the new adventures of being a teenager and some day I will look back on these years and wonder again how the time could have gone by so fast.

I told him today I have 6 more years before I have to share him with another woman. I have to make the most of those 6 years. Granted I still have three after him with one who is only eleven, but I know when the oldest leaves home it will be the hardest and the others will soon follow.

So how will I make the most of the rest of the time my children live with me? I will kiss them goodnight and rub their backs for as many years as they will let me, I will accept all hugs given, I will enjoy the little memories and make as many new memories as we can. I will remember the years go by fast and I have only a short time to instill in them a love for the Lord. I will do my utmost to be the best mother I can be and not get caught up in guilt when I make a mess of things. My goal will be to make the most of the time I have, so I can look back on these years with no regrets.

When the majority of the people you talk to in the course of a day are under the age of four and your primary thought is "If only I could sleep for five minutes" it is hard to think they will every grow up and leave home. BUT THEY WILL!! Before you know it you will be thinking "I remember Melissa telling me this would happen." Enjoy your children today. If your baby is teething skip the dishes and cuddle her, if your son wants to play Legos join him even if you're not very good at it, if your daughter is having an emotional melt down wrap her in your arms and hug away the tears. Choose something your children would enjoy for dinner and make it just for them, add food coloring to the milk and watch their faces glow with happiness, have ice cream for dinner sometime(I learned that from my mom), wrap up in a blanket and watch a Veggie Tale movie, color together(my 2nd boy use to love to do this with me), read to your children while they color or build with Legos(this is one of our favorite activities), have an indoor picnic for lunch invite the stuffed animals to join you, and accept any and all hugs.

OK your mission is clear - have fun being a mother. God gave you each child because He knew you would the best mother for that child and they are each a unique blessing.

Blessings to all,
Melissa

PS. Tonight we are having Nacho Spuds for dinner. It is an easy and affordable meal. The recipe is posted at http://amomlikeyou.blogspot.com/2008/04/whats-for-dinner.html

All past letters can be found at http://amomlikeyou.blogspot.com/

Dear Ladies,

I hope you are all having a wonderful weekend. I've just finish cutting Eric's and Jacob's(boy #2) hair. This is a small way we can save money and I was blessed to have my mom(who was a stylist a long time ago) teach me. Later today we are heading to a polo game. My daughter will enjoy watching the horses.

The job of parenting comes with a variety of joys and troubles. One problem we as parents often face is our own sinful nature. Here is an example from my life.

The kid and I were on our way home from So. Carolina. I decided to take the route that took me through Blacksburg. We were traveling the day after the shootings at Virginia Tech and when we got to that area(which was about half way) there were no available hotel rooms. So we stopped for dinner and I decided to drive the rest of the way home. When I called Eric he said to stop if I got too tired. Well as you can guess, that's what happened. We found a hotel and headed to our room. In the room I lost it with my daughter and yelled at her. My oldest son said "she didn't do anything wrong, you're just tired" I accepted the wisdom of my son and apologized to my daughter.

There are two lessons in this story:

Number 1 - sometimes our children can speak truth to us and we need to accept it in humility.

Number 2 - sometimes we have to apologize to our children. If we sin against one of our children we need to be quick to acknowledge what we have done or said. This shows our children that we are sinners, just like them. That we need forgiveness, just like them. That we need to say we're sorry when we've done something wrong, just like them. Your child will forgive you. Your position of authority will not be diminished in the eyes of your child.

Apologizing to a child is a great opportunity for you to share the forgiving power of Jesus and to teach your child how to apologize. As you've heard so often, children learn by example. Teach them how to ask forgiveness for their sins, by apologizing for your sins when you mess up as a parent.

Ladies, I love hearing your feedback, it encourages me greatly. Please let me know any topics you would like me to share about or questions you have about parenting, marriage, etc. I will pray and do my best to answer.
Don't forget to check www.amomlikeyou.blogspot.com for past letters and easy recipes.

For encouragement in your walk with the Lord, check out Shanda's new blog. www.ateachableheart.blogspot.com.

Blessings to all,
Melissa