Practical Ways to Love Your Husband

Dear Ladies,

We all love practical ideas, suggestions that we can put into to practice in our everyday life. We read magazines to find practical ideas to help us organize our home, scan the internet for practical ways to complete projects and read parenting books for practical ideas to help us raise our children.

One area of our lives that need constant attention is our marriages. With some practical ways to express love to our spouse we can enhance and strengthen our marriages. Below are a variety of easy suggestions that will give you a chance to express your love to your husband.

1. Wait until your anger or feelings of irritability have subsided before discussing a sensitive issue. Do not tell your husband how you want him to behave, instead share with him what feelings the issue aroused in you and why.

2. Ask your husband to pray with you.

3. Dream together- talk about what you want to do together in the future. Discuss where you would like to vacation this summer as a family. Talk about home improvement projects you would like to tackle, share personal goals with each other and encourage your husband in his goals.

4. Drop the word “divorce” from any conversation you have with your husband. Avoid using the word divorce as a threat during an argument. Determine that for your marriage, divorce is not an option. My parents are divorced and my grandparents on both sides of the family were divorced. Both my dad and mom’s family had a history of divorce. Often trends like this will continue in families for generations. About 6 years into my marriage I prayed and committed myself to breaking that cycle in my family. My husband and I never use the word divorce in any argument we have, we have both decided it isn’t an option for us, so we will not talk about it or threaten each other with divorce.

5. Avoid name calling-Whether you are speaking to your husband or talking about him in a public situation be careful about the names you use.

6. Avoid withdrawing from your husband physically and emotionally. It is easy to think I will never talk to him about this again, or to pull back when he tries to give you a hug, but these actions only begin to build up a wall between you and your husband.

7. Do something with your husband that he enjoys-Watch football, attend an event your husband enjoys together or take an interest in his hobbies. Eric has really enjoyed it the few times I attend a pigeon racing club (his current hobby is racing pigeons) meeting or attended a work related event with him. Taking time out of your schedule to attend an event your husband enjoys is an excellent way to silently tell your husband you love him and are interested in what he does.

8. Thank your husband for something he does- When he comes home at the end of a long day, thank him for working all day, thank him when he changes a diaper, fills the car with gas or takes out of trash. Even if it is a job that is normally something he does, or is job he should be doing, thanking him will encourage him and build him up.

9. Buy him a surprise gift- The gift doesn’t have to be expensive, maybe buy him a favorite snack or candy bar. The gift lets him know that you were thinking about him during the day.

10. Make his favorite meal for dinner.

11. Put a love note in his lunch or briefcase.

12. Tell him you love him often.

13. Give him an extra long kiss when he comes home at the end of the day- wouldn’t he be surprised and wonder what you are up to if you give him a long sweet kiss when he walks in the door tonight.

14. Plan a date and take your husband out for the evening. The expectation is that the husband will plan the date and the wife will get the sitter, why not try planning the date also. Think of somewhere your husband enjoys, even if it isn’t on your list of favorite places. For Eric’s 50^th birthday I arranged a private tour of a small vineyard. The winemaker showed Eric around and told him about the process of making wine. Winemaking isn’t necessarily something I’m real interested in, but I know Eric finds the process intriguing. We ended the day with a picnic down by the river and for him it was much better than a big party. Eric was delighted with his surprise birthday outing.

15. Be kinder to your husband then you are to strangers or friends. Treating our friends nice can be easy, we don’t live with them every day. Show your husband that he is loved as much or more than your friends.

16. Initiate some romantic time alone-enough said. You know what to do!

17. Do little favors for him that you know he will enjoy, bring him coffee in the morning or a cold drink when he is working, or rub his back.

18. Help him with a project he is working on, even if you are just holding the tools for him.

19. Take a walk together; even if you have to take the kids along it will be time that you are spending together.

20. Say you are sorry. Apologizing can go a long way in restoring a relationship and tearing down the wall between you and your husband.

21. Bake him some cookies and make some extra for him to share at work.

22. When he arrives home from work or from being out, stop what you’re doing to greet him with a kiss. In fact, kiss him as often as you can.

Loving our husbands can be a chore or can be pleasurable; the decision is up to us. Loving a man that isn’t very loveable sometimes, can be difficult and there may be times in your marriage when you feel very little or no love at all for your husband. Feelings change; marriage cannot be based on feelings alone. If we went on feelings alone, our marriages wouldn’t last very long. Love has to be a decision. Each partner has to make a decision to love at all times, not just when it feels good.

Make a decision today to love your husband all the time, use some of the ideas given to show him that love. Whether you feel like it or not try a few of the ideas and keep trying. At first you may not notice any difference, but with continued effort you will see a change in how you feel and will notice a change in your marriage. Give some of the ideas a try and see what happens. Most likely the love in your marriage will increase, as you continue to show your husband how much you love him.

I would love to hear from you any ideas you have and to hear the outcome of your efforts to express your love.

Blessings,

Melissa

Resurrection Cookies

Dear Ladies,
If you've never done made Resurrection cookies with your children it is a fun Easter activity and a great way to teach them about Easter. The link below has the recipe and walks you through each step.
http://www.annieshomepage.com/resurrectioncookies.html

Another easy activity for Easter:
-Take refrigerated biscuits that come in a can- pop the can open and give each child a biscuit. Have each child wrap the biscuit dough around a large marshmallow- this takes a bit of stretching. Brush melted butter on the biscuits, roll in cinnamon and sugar and bake according to directions on biscuit can.
Explain to the children as they wrap the biscuit around the marshmallow that Jesus is represented by the marshmallow and the biscuit represents the tomb. After the biscuits are done baking, cool a few minutes and give each child one to enjoy. Break the biscuit in half and notice that the marshmallow is gone, our biscuit tomb is empty just like Jesus' tomb was empty on Easter morning. My children loved this activity and I liked it because it was simple and easy to do.

Enjoy,
Melissa

More Snowy Day Ideas

Dear Ladies,

One mom responded that she was making gingerbread houses from cardboard with her children. You could cut house pieces from cardboard or use graham crackers. The major part of success with gingerbread houses is having the right icing. The icing needs to work like cement. Below is an icing recipe that works well. Here is a quote from the mom who sent the idea, " So we have started a gingerbread house building project. The houses are out of cut up cardboard boxes glued together with a hot glue gun. The frosting is a recipe from online, and we have the extra candy, cereal, pretzels, etc to decorate. They are enjoying the project (and will take some time to complete in phases--just like a real house!)"

This could be a quick one day project or turn it into a big project and create a village.

Here are a few more ideas to try, now that we are on to winter storm number three.
-have a game day and haul out the cards and board games
-look at old photo albums together. Children love to hear stories about when you were young and stories about what they did when they were younger.
-gather together some items from your recycling and since they aren't picking it up we all have extra, together with colored paper, newspaper, glue, crayons etc, create robots.
-create bird feeders. If you have pine cones cover them with peanut butter and roll in bird seed, tie string to the top and hang from a tree branch. A bird feeder can also be made from old milk cartons.
-bundle up and take a walk-don't forget to have everyone use the potty first.
-call some friends and meet at a fast food restaurant with a play area for lunch or just coffee.

I know for some of you the days are getting long and you are ready for a change. When the day is getting you down, take a break. Tell your children, even the older ones need a rest time. Everyone needs a break and your children even need a break from each other. A half hour of reading or a quiet activity separated from everyone else may be just the time everyone needs to feel refreshed.

Blessings to all of you,
Melissa

Icing Recipe
2 Egg whites
1/8 teaspoon cream of tartar
2 teaspoons water
Beat together until frothy

Mix in 3 cups of powdered sugar.
Beat until stiff

Snow Day Fun

Ladies,

It looks like you will have the company of your school age children at home this week. After several days at home everyone may ended up going a little stir crazy and your children may begin to have a lot of pent up energy. Now is the time to start planning something to help you keep your sanity.

School children have every minute of their day planned out for them, when given too many days of unstructured times they don't know what to do with all their free time. Here are a few ideas too help fill some of those free hours. -try searching the internet for some simple crafts to do together,
- enjoy coloring together,
-pull out a pile of sheets and blankets to make a tent in the family room,
-bake cookies together
-if you have a fireplace build a fire, roast marshmallows and pretend you are camping
-make sandwiches for dinner, spread a blanket on the family room floor and have a picni
-begin reading a chapter book together, allow your children to color or build with Legos while you read(this use to be one of our favorite things to do together during the day)
-have a movie day or afternoon-wear your pj's and enjoy popcorn
-help your children prepare a play or program with dance and music for when Dad comes home
-plan and prepare a special meal together
-take a walk in the snow and then enjoy hot chocolate together when you get home

If you have some fun ideas that you enjoy doing with your children please email me. I will put them all together and send them to everyone.

Enjoy the special days ahead with your children home,
Melissa

Teaching Children How to Receive Presents

Ladies,

Here is something I did with my children that you might want to try. To teach my children how to respond properly to a gift they received we would have practice sessions. I would wrap up items for the child to open, just old toys or something from around the house. I would then let them open the gift and we would practice what to say. We would talk about instead of saying "I already have one of these", they can say "thank you, this is a nice present". I would wrap up a item that would be a terrible present, so they could practice saying thank you even when they didn't like the present. The children enjoyed this game and it did help them when they were given something and didn't know how to respond. It also helped to prevent them from saying something like "my mom doesn't want me to have this"

Enjoy your Christmas,
Melissa

Christmas Reminder

Dear Ladies,

For those of you not in Va, we are blanketed in snow. Reminds me of my days in Oswego NY way up by Lake Ontario(a few ladies on the list actually live in Oswego). We have about 15-20 inches of snow; we haven't expeienced this amount of snow since 1995. It has been beautiful to see the world covered in a blanket of white.

My boys had plans for a sleep over tonight, so we had to dig the van out. I had planned to drive them myself, but instead took Ethan out for a snow driving lesson. He took it very slow and did a good job. He was born in Oswego, so maybe it is in his blood-it was snowing when we brought him home from the hospital.

Life in the Northern Virginia area is so busy, everyone is always on the go and then it snows. A good snow storm shuts the area down and causes everyone to slow down. One such storm happened during the week and caused most people to have to stay home from work. We went over to the hill to sled and the area was crowded with families enjoying time together. Winter snow storms hve a way of forcing us to slow down and spend down as a family.

Christmas time only adds to our busyness. In addition to our regular schedule we add in shopping for a multitude of gifts, attending parties, baking cookies and traveling. We can lose sight of what is really important during this season. We can easily forget we are celebrating the birth of Christ and we can get so busy preparing for Christmas day that we don't spend time with our children. Christmas is only one day. We spend days and hours getting ready and then it is over so quickly.

I'm sure most of you have a million jobs to do before Christmas morning, but I encourage you to carve out a few minutes each day to spend sometime doing something with your children. Color a picture together, bake cookies, read a Christmas story, wrap gifts, create a memory with your children and enjoy them. We really have very few Christmas' with our children all at home with us.

Blessings to all of you,
Melissa

Mothering Drudgery or Joy

Dear Ladies,

When my kids were little Monday was always a hard day for me. After a weekend of very little housekeeping there was plenty of catching up to do. Monday always meant cleaning and laundry. After a long holiday weekend with husbands and kids home I'm sure some of you had a busy day today catching up with your cleaning and laundry.

Parts of mothering can be just drudgery. The laundry is never ending, the floor is always needing a good mopping, you rarely get everything done, and many days you feel like you get nothing done. The other part of mothering is why we really enjoy being mothers. Its the baby gazing up at you as she nurses, the toddler fresh out of the bath in his new fuzzy pajamas, the delight on a child's face when you surprise them with a gift they have really been wanting, the sense of pride when your child walks across the stage to accept his diploma and the countless smiles, hugs and kisses that are bestowed on you just because you are the mom.

Don't let your days of mothering young children become just the days of drudgery. Aim each day to find the joy in mothering weather it is just a few minutes to read a child a story, scratched a child's back (I have a 16 year old that wants his back scratched at bedtime), color a coloring page together or listen to a teen relate his day to you. These everyday occurrences are what mothering is really about. These are the days when we have the chance to mold a life, to train our children in the love of the Lord through our actions and to love them unconditionally.

Happy Mothering Ladies. Thank you to all of you who responded to my last email, your responses are very encouraging.

Melissa