Spoiling Just One

Dear Ladies,

I'm sitting at the Ford dealership waiting on my van. We're here for schedule maintenance. I have brought along my youngest boy, Caleb to keep me company.

Years ago my husband and I read and article that contained a simple piece of parenting advice. The article said to always take a child with you when you are heading out to shop, run an errand or other small excursions. Since then, we have tried to put this principle into practice. This doesn't mean I never shop alone. I do. Sometimes I need to go alone, sometimes I want to go alone and sometimes no one wants to go with me.

When we first started do this, my husband was making bi-weekly trips to the dump. No one wanted to go with him, so he began using bribery. Just a side note, bribery has it's place in parenting, and can work very well helping you teach or train a child. Eric began taking the child he forced to go with him to the gas station to pick out a bandy bar. Since our children rarely got whole candy bars this was a real treat for them and before long everyone wanted to go to the dump with dad.

Sometimes moms need the time to go shopping alone and if it is one of those times, then by all means go alone. However if you have had your alone time, then take a child along. For me this allows me the chance to have some alone time with each child. Taking just one child out with you is totally different then taking the whole gang. With just one you have the chance to really focus on them and gives you a chance to talk about subjects they might not have brought up if another child was along.

Eric and I love to spoil our children, so another benefit of taking just one child is, it gives us the chance to spoil him or her. If I have all four children along it can cost me a pretty penny to buy each one of them an ice cream cone at Brusters or even a Coke. If I have only one child I can more easily afford to buy them a treat or two. The children know this and at times they have come along just because they know the chances are good that they will get a treat. A few my children have gone through stages when they just enjoyed being alone with one of us and would tag along. One even told me once on an outing he liked being alone with me.

Weather the child goes with you because you forced him, bribed him, or simply because they wanted to, the time alone with you child will strengthen your bond and create memories. So the next time you're heading out the door to run an errand, whisper a bribed in the ear of one of your kids and enjoy the bless of having a child along.

Melissa