Just Say No!!!

Dear Ladies,

The kids and I have a busy week ahead of us. Caleb (son #3) is getting braces put on the upper teeth, we are all taking a field trip to the FBI Academy, and Johanna, Caleb and I are taking a field trip to a Equine Rescue Farm. Johanna is working on a horses' unit study this year, so when I saw this field trip offered, I signed up for it. We don't do many group field trips, so this is an unusual week for us. We also have Bible study, robotics and a college class for the oldest, our regular school work and chores, a MOPS meeting for me, drama class for Johanna and guitar lessons for the two oldest boys. I'm sure some of you probably have a schedule that is even fuller, while some of you may enjoy a quieter week.

I'm also sure that most of you have experienced feelings of being overwhelmed at some point. When your long list of things to do, just gets longer. There have been times that I have felt on the verge of tears, because I had so much to accomplish.

We adopted our daughter at the age of 2. Our boys were four, six and eight at the time, I was homeschooling, we had moved into a house that needed lots of work, I was the director of our children's church program and taught Sunday school. I was overwhelmed. Added to all this the transition for our daughter was difficult, she only wanted me or my oldest son, she cried a lot and was angry plus the church wanted the children to perform a Christmas musical and I was the director. I was REALLY overwhelmed. During all this I went to a homeschool support group meeting. I shared with some of the ladies all I was doing. One member of the group was an older mom and she offered me some simple advise. She said "Melissa, you need to learn how to say NO."

Is learning to say "NO" something you need to do? There are many wonderful actitives to fill our time and we have to choose carefully. Opportunities abound for our children, everything from soccer to cooking lessons. These are all great activities and there is a time when it is good to let your children take part. We can, at times, feel pressured to have all of our kids doing some activity all of the time. Before signing your kids up for a class or sport consider how many hours per week will you need to invest, how will the added stress effect your family and how will the time involved effect the children not participating in the activity. If it is a personal project or activity be sure to ask your husband's opinion, talk to a close friend and consider your current schedule(can it handle another event). Be sure to spend some time asking God to direct your steps.

Lastly say No and don't feel guilty. In the weeks ahead you probably will be glad you didn't take on yet another activity or project. Only by saying no to some activities will you have the opportunity to spend quality time as a family, have the time for your children to just be kids and play, and maybe even have the time to read a good book.

Have a wonderful week.

Melissa

PS. I'm looking for e-letter topics, do you have any ideas?

Tips, Good Ideas and a Lion or Two

Dear Ladies,

Thank you for making these letters such a hugh success. I started writing with about 8 ladies, most of them sat with me at MOPS meetings. The list has grown to about 20 ladies now. Welcome to all the new moms. Please continue to share these letter with anyone who is interested and have them email me if they would like the letters to show up in their mailbox. All the letters are posted at the following blog address (www.amomlikeyou.blogspot.com) if you would like to re-read them. I know it is easier to have them just show up in your in-box. That way you can read the letter quickly and go hunt down the two year old, who is all of a sudden quiet. And we all know what it means if a two year old is quiet-TROUBLE. Once while I was on the phone my two oldest were quiet. I found them in the bathroom. The oldest was brushing his teeth with my toothbrush, after having used my lipstick. The younger one was sitting in a sink of water with messy diaper.


My husband and I had the chance to enjoy two days at the homeschool convention. There are always too many fabulous products to buy and too many informative workshops to attend. Many workshops deal with homeschooling topics, but many would be of interest to non- homeschooling families. For this letter I am just going to bullet for you some of the things I wrote down in my notebook. I hope one or more points will be of encouragement to you today.


Family Life

-Wives respect your husbands. If you wouldn't believe in him, how can he believe in himself.

-Prepare children for all seasons of life. ie. the season of learning or being a disciple, the season of raising a family, the season of being leaders within the church and the season of being leaders of the nation.

-Ask you child, "How ARE you?" "Have I ever hurt your feelings?"

-Remember it's the little things that destroy a marriage-work as a team.

-Children need to trust their parents.

-Teach your children to see a job and do it before being asked.

-When a young child wants to do a job, ie. fold clothes, then it is time to begin teaching him/her that job.

-Lavish praise for jobs children do.

-Some kids don't see the mess, use a check list to help them with cleaning jobs.

-Make a list of everything in the house that needs to be done, enlist the children to help.

-Gear chores towards a child's skill.

-For a forgetful child have them do the same job everyday for a year.

-Reward children for completion of big jobs. ie. a trip to the ice cream shoppe.

-Preform weekly room checks, reward a child for an orderly room.

-Reward a child for good manners.

-Mention things a child does right when you pray for him/her.

-Create an audio tape of dad reading the proverbs.

-Make use of rewards in training for occasional motivation and for learning Bible verses.

-Train girls to run the household and have a heart of service.

-Have young men learn a trade.

-Encourage a servant's spirit, first in the family, then when company is over and by adopting an elderly person.

-Limit electronic entertainment, teach a lifestyle of productivity.


Stretching in Your Grocery Dollars

-Plan a menu

-Put together a price book, so you will be able to check if an item is a deal or not.

-Establish a buy price. ie. I try not to pay more then $2 a pound for meat.

-Try bulk cooking or once a month cooking. This makes for a long Saturday, but is great if you can do it. You can also do smaller jobs like cook up a lot of ground beef at once, cook and bone a bunch of chicken, or chop and freeze onions/green peppers. This isn't bulk cooking, but it does make dinner time easier.

-Make family dinners happen at least four nights a week.

-Stay at the table to play a game, read or have devotions. Mad-lips is a funny dinner game.


Lastly Ladies, remember that God has a BIG purpose for your children, just as He did for Ruth, David, Esther, Joshua and Samuel.

Have a wonderful weekend,

Melissa

PS. What do you think David's mom thought when he came home and said " I killed a fierce lion today". Oh My and we thought our kids worried us.

Planning For Summer

Ladies,
I've been working on a longer then usual letter to you and I'm almost ready to send it. I actually have sent it to a friend who edits some of my posts. She's the secret ingredient. She's the one that makes them read so smoothly. As soon as she is done I will get it out to you. I think you will enjoy "10 ways to love your husband"

I hope you all had a pleasant Memorial Day weekend. We had 2 BBQs to attend and had a great time visiting at both gatherings. What a great way to start off the summer season.

Speaking of summer, here is a tip. Before summer vacation is here and your school age children are home, make a plan. Decided now and make a list of things you would like to do with the children and as a family. Maybe you want to take some day trips, wade in a few creeks, find some mud for mud pies, pack a picnic lunch or dinner, have friends over for ice cream, or complete a project.

Often summer is over before we know it and we feel like we didn't accomplish anything. Planning out your summer will help keep boredom for the children at bay and allow your family to make some summer time memories.

Blessings until next time,
Melissa