Sunday, February 1, 2009

Just Say No!!!

Dear Ladies,

The kids and I have a busy week ahead of us. Caleb (son #3) is getting braces put on the upper teeth, we are all taking a field trip to the FBI Academy, and Johanna, Caleb and I are taking a field trip to a Equine Rescue Farm. Johanna is working on a horses' unit study this year, so when I saw this field trip offered, I signed up for it. We don't do many group field trips, so this is an unusual week for us. We also have Bible study, robotics and a college class for the oldest, our regular school work and chores, a MOPS meeting for me, drama class for Johanna and guitar lessons for the two oldest boys. I'm sure some of you probably have a schedule that is even fuller, while some of you may enjoy a quieter week.

I'm also sure that most of you have experienced feelings of being overwhelmed at some point. When your long list of things to do, just gets longer. There have been times that I have felt on the verge of tears, because I had so much to accomplish.

We adopted our daughter at the age of 2. Our boys were four, six and eight at the time, I was homeschooling, we had moved into a house that needed lots of work, I was the director of our children's church program and taught Sunday school. I was overwhelmed. Added to all this the transition for our daughter was difficult, she only wanted me or my oldest son, she cried a lot and was angry plus the church wanted the children to perform a Christmas musical and I was the director. I was REALLY overwhelmed. During all this I went to a homeschool support group meeting. I shared with some of the ladies all I was doing. One member of the group was an older mom and she offered me some simple advise. She said "Melissa, you need to learn how to say NO."

Is learning to say "NO" something you need to do? There are many wonderful actitives to fill our time and we have to choose carefully. Opportunities abound for our children, everything from soccer to cooking lessons. These are all great activities and there is a time when it is good to let your children take part. We can, at times, feel pressured to have all of our kids doing some activity all of the time. Before signing your kids up for a class or sport consider how many hours per week will you need to invest, how will the added stress effect your family and how will the time involved effect the children not participating in the activity. If it is a personal project or activity be sure to ask your husband's opinion, talk to a close friend and consider your current schedule(can it handle another event). Be sure to spend some time asking God to direct your steps.

Lastly say No and don't feel guilty. In the weeks ahead you probably will be glad you didn't take on yet another activity or project. Only by saying no to some activities will you have the opportunity to spend quality time as a family, have the time for your children to just be kids and play, and maybe even have the time to read a good book.

Have a wonderful week.

Melissa

PS. I'm looking for e-letter topics, do you have any ideas?

2 comments:

Janice said...

I am a first time visitor. I came over from A teachable heart.
I have been very overwhelmed at times and felt like I was trapped and didn't know how to get out, but the Lord helped me out of my situation and now I am in a better place. Because of my experience I know what I can handle and what I need to let go. I better understand myself and I think that is the key for me, is understanding who I am and what I am capable of doing and I don't feel bad for saying "no". My family comes first!!

Unknown said...

I have never commented on your blog, but have visited several times. My husband and myself first church as a married couple what did we not volunteer to do. After we moved to another state believe me we learned how to say "NO" then in fact we wanted to be only church members in the choir and that was the limit for the first year in this new church. We only allow our boys one sport at a time also..

 
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