Mothering Through the Sand Dunes of Life

"…and they will do well from the treasures hidden in the sand on the shore."
Deuteronomy 33:19



Out in the middle of no where, among the Rocky Mountains are acres of sand. Great Sand Dunes National Park is a fascinating place to visit; it is like being at the ocean except the ocean is missing. Leading up to beautiful soft yellow mountains of sand is a vast, expanse of smooth, flat, sandy ground. Some of the flat ground leading up to the dunes is easy to walk through as the sand is compressed; other places the sand is soft making walking more difficult. The National Park Service is unable to create a map of trails, because the sand dunes are constantly shifting.
During our visit to the park, the thought occurred to me that the adventure of motherhood is like exploring sand dunes. Some days mothering is easy, like walking on firm sand. Other days are tough, no major obstacles, just harder and physically exhausting, like walking through soft sand. While other days are like climbing a mountain of sand. Difficult!
We've all had difficult days. You wake up two hours late; the baby slept through her 6am feeding. Even though you enjoyed the extra sleep, you've missed that small window of time you had to take a shower. The day doesn't get better. The toddler and the baby both wake up cranky, with stuffy noses and sore throats. After an hour wait the doctor tells you they have a virus and it will just will need to run its course. Back at home you remember there isn't anything for lunch, because today was supposed to be grocery shopping day. After feeding the kids cereal you begin the process of getting everyone down for a nap. With nap time under way, you quickly clean up the breakfast dishes, begin a load of laundry, take out the trash and pick up the Duplos the toddler scattered all over the living room and kitchen. Feeling exhausted you decide to lay down for a 10 minute power nap; as you head touches the pillow, crying is heard from the bedroom. You feel like you have been climbing a mountain of sand,never gaining more them a few steps forward before sliding back to where you started, and your day is only half over.
In Deuteronomy 33:19 Moses pronounces a blessing over the tribe of Zebulun. He declares that they will feast on "treasures hidden in the sand." Our children are treasures, but on very difficult days we need to remember to bend down and dig. Digging in the sand isn't hard and often we don't have to dig deep before we find an unexpected treasure or uncover a blessing. Maybe you had a few extra minutes of cuddling time with your preschooler, maybe your toddler said something that brought a smile to your face, or maybe
Visitors to Great Sand Dunes National Park are encouraged to enjoy, explore, and learn during their visit. We need to do the same as mothers; we need to enjoy the mundane days for their quietness, learn from the difficult days, and explore on the sunny days. We need to discover anew the treasures of our children. Motherhood is a fascinating journey, one in which we can grow and change like the shifting sand of the national park




Copyright 2008 Melissa Steckmann.

Have Some Fun

Dear Ladies,

My kids enjoyed some time in the snow the last couple of days. Last year they were disappointed that we didn't have enough snow to try out some snowboards they had gotten at a yard sale. They finally got their chance to use them.

Since we are homeschooling we don't necessarily have snow days. Since a good snow fall is a rare occurrence and the opportunities to sled are few we do take time to fit in some outdoor fun. We adjust our schedule, let some of the work wait until the next day and seize the moment.

With all the jobs we have to do has wives and mothers we can sometimes neglect the chances to have fun. I know you all have heard it before that the house work can wait, but the children wouldn't always be there. We all know the truth to that statement and we all believe it, but we still get caught up in the need to get the work all done. Plus there is no way to get around it, I have yet to have any little elves do my housework while I was sleeping.

So what do we do??

We have to find a balance between work and fun. Schedule into your days time with your children, time where you do something together. It can be as simple as playing a game of memory, reading a book or baking cookies. Try to include your children in some of the every day activities you have to do. Your young children will think it is fun to be mommy's helper. Or give your children an activity to do at the kitchen table while you make dinner, this will give you the opportunity to talk to them. There are many ways in which we can enjoy time with our children, be on the look out for ways to include your children in what you do and ways to have a little fun with them.

Have fun today and enjoy your children.

Blessings,
Melissa
www.amomlikeyou.blogspot.com
Check the blog page for past letters and easy recipes.

Can Adults Have Temper Tantrums??

One of the hobbies that Eric and the children enjoy is raising and racing homing pigeons. They are members of a pigeon racing club that holds monthly meetings. Eric and the children attended the first meeting of the New Year on Saturday. The club has some interesting dynamics and Saturday night was no exception. One gentleman didn’t approve of the way something was being handled, so he stormed out of the meeting. Our youngest son told Eric it was the first time he had seen an adult have a temper tantrum.

I think it would be safe to say that this gentleman probably had temper tantrums as a child. It is also probably safe to say, that his parents neglected to teach him self-control and how to express his emotions correctly. Discipline is the hardest part of parenting. It takes consistency. No matter what form of discipline you choose to use, it has to be done with consistency. A negative consequence for a negative behavior. All behaviors don’t warrant the same consequent and some behaviors need a consequent that will make its point quickly. For example, running into the road is a behavior we can’t let happen again, therefore, the punishment needs to be something the child will remember the next time he is tempted to run into the road.

The point of giving out a punishment for inappropriate behavior is to cause the child to remember the consequent the next time they are tempted. It might be helpful for you to create a list of punishments options, so when your child is disobedient you can look at the list and decide what punishment will be the most effective. Some examples are: loss of computer time, no candy, loss of favorite doll, time out, standing in the corner or early to bed. We use to banish our children; using the word banish made the punishment sound worse then it was. The banished child had to stay in their room (they were banished from the family) and they only got bread and water for dinner (I never wanted to send my children to bed hungry). We didn’t banish kids a lot, but saved it for more serious disobedience. Some people use spanking to discipline their children. Sometimes a spanking, when admistered in love, is the best method of displine. (I will cover spanking in a future letter)

The bottom line is simple. To have well behaved children a parent needs to be watchful, needs to discipline with consistency, needs to communicate clearly to the child why he is being punished and needs to reward good behavior. With consistent discipline, love and prayers our children will grow into the men/women God has designed them to be instead of angry adults who want everything their way.

Thank you for taking the time to read these letters. I’m amazed at how God has taken some simple notes sent to about six ladies and grown it into a group of 30+. Please continue to pass the letters on to other moms you think will enjoy them. As always, I welcome any comments or questions you may have.

Serving Him Alone,
Melissa
www.amomlikeyou.blogspot.com

Happiness Isn't Candy for Dinner Every Night

Shop, shop and shop some more.

I don't know about you but it takes me forever to get all the Christmas shopping done. I think I'm just a very slow shopper. Even with a list, I'm still a slow shopper. When I think I'm making some head way, I get everything out, divided it into piles for each child and realize there isn't much in the piles. This year I have not come up with one really neat present that I'm extra excited about giving or that I know the children will be extra excited about receiving. However, I'm sure they will enjoy their gifts and my husband I enjoy the chance Christmas gives us to spoil them a bit.

Today I read the following quote by Washington Irving: "It was the policy of the good old gentleman to make his children feel that home was the happiest place in the world; and I value this delicious home-feeling as one of the choicest gifts a parent can bestow."

A happy home that is one of the most important gifts we can give to our children. It is however much easy to go to Walmart and buy a new bike or a Wii system. Obviously there would be some very happy children at my house if they opened up a brand new video game system, but the happiest would be short lived.

Creating your home to be the happiest place in the world is a never ending job. It is something I need to work on all year long. So how can we give the gift of a happy home to our children.
1. Love your husband and let the children know you love their dad.
2. Love your God and share your love of God with the kids
3. Discipline your children. Children that understand right from wrong and understand the standards their parents have set up are happier. Children feel safer and more loved with boundaries for their behavior.
4. Have fun together. Have ice cream for dinner or camp out in the living room or bake cookies together.
5. Teach your children that your home is a safe place. Mean/ teasing behavior is not allowed. Children need to feel they can be themselves in their home without someone pulling them down.

This is just the tip of the ice burg and I by no means have mastered what it takes to make a happy home. Probably the most important thing we can do is PRAY. Pray for today and work on making your home a happy place today, when tomorrow comes pray and work on that day. One day at a time.

This is the best gift you can give each other, so get everyone involved. Ask them how your home can be happier-be prepared for the "ice cream everyday" or "candy only for dinner" answers. In the end we want our children to have fond memories and look forward to coming home for a visit.

Melissa

Relaxing

Dear Ladies,

Just a short word of encouragement for you all this holiday weekend.

RELAX!!!


It is OK to sneak in some "me time" this weekend.
Here are some ideas to get you started:

Do nothing- just sit and stare out the window,

Read a book during the kids nap time instead of cleaning, take a hot bath after everyone is in bed,

Watch a favorite TV show on line(most of the major networks have their shows on line, so you can watch it when you like),

Go shopping all alone or with a friend, go get a cup of coffee and wander your favorite store without worrying about Christ ma shopping.

Whatever you do, enjoy yourself.
It's OK.

Melissa

Mothering Through the Sand Dunes of Life

Out in the middle of no where, among the Rocky Mountains are acres of sand. Great Sand Dunes National Park is a fascinating place to visit; it is like being at the ocean except the ocean is missing. Leading up to beautiful soft yellow mountains of sand is a vast, expanse of smooth, sandy ground. Some of the flat ground leading up to the dunes is easy to walk through as the sand is compressed; other places the sand is soft making walking more difficult. The national park service is unable to create a map of trails, because the sand dunes are constantly shifting and if you sit for a spell you can see whiffs of sand blowing passed.

During a visit to the park, the thought occurred to me that the adventure of motherhood is like exploring sand dunes. Some days mothering is easy, like walking on sand that is firm. Other days are tough, no major obstacles, just harder and physically exhausting, like walking through soft sand. But other days are like climbing a mountain of sand. Difficult!

We’ve all had difficult days. You wake up two hours late; the baby slept through her
6am feeding. Even though you enjoyed the extra sleep, you’ve missed the small window of time you had to take a shower. The day doesn’t get better. The toddler and the baby both woke up cranky, with a stuffy nose and sore throat. After an hour’s wait the doctor tells you they have a virus and it just will need to run its course. Back at home you remember there isn’t anything for lunch, because today was supposed to be grocery shopping day. After feeding the kids cereal you begin the process of getting everyone down for a nap. With naptime underway you quick clean up the breakfast dishes, begin a load of laundry, take out the trash and pick up the Duplos the toddler scattered all over the living room and kitchen. Feeling exhausted you decide to lay down for a 10 minute powernap, as you head touches the pillow, crying is heard from the bedroom down the hall. You feel like you have been climbing a mountain of sand and your day is only half over.

Visitors to Great Sand Dunes National Park are encouraged to enjoy, explore, learn and recreate during their visit. We need to do the same as mothers; we need to enjoy the mundane days for their quietness, learn from the difficult days, explore with our children the beauty of each day and recreate together making the most of each day. Just as the sand dunes are a fascinating place to explore, mothering is a fascinating journey.









The above article is copyrighted by Melissa Steckmann.