Monday, January 19, 2009

Can Adults Have Temper Tantrums??

One of the hobbies that Eric and the children enjoy is raising and racing homing pigeons. They are members of a pigeon racing club that holds monthly meetings. Eric and the children attended the first meeting of the New Year on Saturday. The club has some interesting dynamics and Saturday night was no exception. One gentleman didn’t approve of the way something was being handled, so he stormed out of the meeting. Our youngest son told Eric it was the first time he had seen an adult have a temper tantrum.

I think it would be safe to say that this gentleman probably had temper tantrums as a child. It is also probably safe to say, that his parents neglected to teach him self-control and how to express his emotions correctly. Discipline is the hardest part of parenting. It takes consistency. No matter what form of discipline you choose to use, it has to be done with consistency. A negative consequence for a negative behavior. All behaviors don’t warrant the same consequent and some behaviors need a consequent that will make its point quickly. For example, running into the road is a behavior we can’t let happen again, therefore, the punishment needs to be something the child will remember the next time he is tempted to run into the road.

The point of giving out a punishment for inappropriate behavior is to cause the child to remember the consequent the next time they are tempted. It might be helpful for you to create a list of punishments options, so when your child is disobedient you can look at the list and decide what punishment will be the most effective. Some examples are: loss of computer time, no candy, loss of favorite doll, time out, standing in the corner or early to bed. We use to banish our children; using the word banish made the punishment sound worse then it was. The banished child had to stay in their room (they were banished from the family) and they only got bread and water for dinner (I never wanted to send my children to bed hungry). We didn’t banish kids a lot, but saved it for more serious disobedience. Some people use spanking to discipline their children. Sometimes a spanking, when admistered in love, is the best method of displine. (I will cover spanking in a future letter)

The bottom line is simple. To have well behaved children a parent needs to be watchful, needs to discipline with consistency, needs to communicate clearly to the child why he is being punished and needs to reward good behavior. With consistent discipline, love and prayers our children will grow into the men/women God has designed them to be instead of angry adults who want everything their way.

Thank you for taking the time to read these letters. I’m amazed at how God has taken some simple notes sent to about six ladies and grown it into a group of 30+. Please continue to pass the letters on to other moms you think will enjoy them. As always, I welcome any comments or questions you may have.

Serving Him Alone,
Melissa
www.amomlikeyou.blogspot.com

2 comments:

Shanda said...

This was a great one! Especially making up a list of possible consequences prior to the need to administer them!

Anonymous said...

I have found that banishing is very effective. My two hate to be left out of any family happenings, so they definitely avoid being banished. I like the list idea as well because I find myself at a loss sometimes as to what to do.

 
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