Dear Ladies,
We all love practical ideas, suggestions that we can put into to practice in our everyday life. We read magazines to find practical ideas to help us organize our home, scan the internet for practical ways to complete projects and read parenting books for practical ideas to help us raise our children.
One area of our lives that need constant attention is our marriages. With some practical ways to express love to our spouse we can enhance and strengthen our marriages. Below are a variety of easy suggestions that will give you a chance to express your love to your husband.
1. Wait until your anger or feelings of irritability have subsided before discussing a sensitive issue. Do not tell your husband how you want him to behave, instead share with him what feelings the issue aroused in you and why.
2. Ask your husband to pray with you.
3. Dream together- talk about what you want to do together in the future. Discuss where you would like to vacation this summer as a family. Talk about home improvement projects you would like to tackle, share personal goals with each other and encourage your husband in his goals.
4. Drop the word “divorce” from any conversation you have with your husband. Avoid using the word divorce as a threat during an argument. Determine that for your marriage, divorce is not an option. My parents are divorced and my grandparents on both sides of the family were divorced. Both my dad and mom’s family had a history of divorce. Often trends like this will continue in families for generations. About 6 years into my marriage I prayed and committed myself to breaking that cycle in my family. My husband and I never use the word divorce in any argument we have, we have both decided it isn’t an option for us, so we will not talk about it or threaten each other with divorce.
5. Avoid name calling-Whether you are speaking to your husband or talking about him in a public situation be careful about the names you use.
6. Avoid withdrawing from your husband physically and emotionally. It is easy to think I will never talk to him about this again, or to pull back when he tries to give you a hug, but these actions only begin to build up a wall between you and your husband.
7. Do something with your husband that he enjoys-Watch football, attend an event your husband enjoys together or take an interest in his hobbies. Eric has really enjoyed it the few times I attend a pigeon racing club (his current hobby is racing pigeons) meeting or attended a work related event with him. Taking time out of your schedule to attend an event your husband enjoys is an excellent way to silently tell your husband you love him and are interested in what he does.
8. Thank your husband for something he does- When he comes home at the end of a long day, thank him for working all day, thank him when he changes a diaper, fills the car with gas or takes out of trash. Even if it is a job that is normally something he does, or is job he should be doing, thanking him will encourage him and build him up.
9. Buy him a surprise gift- The gift doesn’t have to be expensive, maybe buy him a favorite snack or candy bar. The gift lets him know that you were thinking about him during the day.
10. Make his favorite meal for dinner.
11. Put a love note in his lunch or briefcase.
12. Tell him you love him often.
13. Give him an extra long kiss when he comes home at the end of the day- wouldn’t he be surprised and wonder what you are up to if you give him a long sweet kiss when he walks in the door tonight.
14. Plan a date and take your husband out for the evening. The expectation is that the husband will plan the date and the wife will get the sitter, why not try planning the date also. Think of somewhere your husband enjoys, even if it isn’t on your list of favorite places. For Eric’s 50th birthday I arranged a private tour of a small vineyard. The winemaker showed Eric around and told him about the process of making wine. Winemaking isn’t necessarily something I’m real interested in, but I know Eric finds the process intriguing. We ended the day with a picnic down by the river and for him it was much better than a big party. Eric was delighted with his surprise birthday outing.
15. Be kinder to your husband then you are to strangers or friends. Treating our friends nice can be easy, we don’t live with them every day. Show your husband that he is loved as much or more than your friends.
16. Initiate some romantic time alone-enough said. You know what to do!
17. Do little favors for him that you know he will enjoy, bring him coffee in the morning or a cold drink when he is working, or rub his back.
18. Help him with a project he is working on, even if you are just holding the tools for him.
19. Take a walk together; even if you have to take the kids along it will be time that you are spending together.
20. Say you are sorry. Apologizing can go a long way in restoring a relationship and tearing down the wall between you and your husband.
21. Bake him some cookies and make some extra for him to share at work.
22. When he arrives home from work or from being out, stop what you’re doing to greet him with a kiss. In fact, kiss him as often as you can.
Loving our husbands can be a chore or can be pleasurable; the decision is up to us. Loving a man that isn’t very loveable sometimes, can be difficult and there may be times in your marriage when you feel very little or no love at all for your husband. Feelings change; marriage cannot be based on feelings alone. If we went on feelings alone, our marriages wouldn’t last very long. Love has to be a decision. Each partner has to make a decision to love at all times, not just when it feels good.
Make a decision today to love your husband all the time, use some of the ideas given to show him that love. Whether you feel like it or not try a few of the ideas and keep trying. At first you may not notice any difference, but with continued effort you will see a change in how you feel and will notice a change in your marriage. Give some of the ideas a try and see what happens. Most likely the love in your marriage will increase, as you continue to show your husband how much you love him.
I would love to hear from you any ideas you have and to hear the outcome of your efforts to express your love.
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